There is nothing so humbling …or humiliating for me, as when inanimate objects get the better of me. *Smile*
So imagine this… a 175 cm tree… which is my exact height, actually it’s a 175 cm Green Inanimate Christmas Tree which is a lot wider than I am, probably 23 years old now… very prickly… a little dusty, and very determined not to give-up it’s ornaments… and especially it’s lights, to go back into a dark box in a dusty garage for the next 10 months.
The ornaments I must admit, weren’t such a challenge, as every time I went passed the tree yesterday… I took three or four ornaments off, and carefully dusted each and wrapped them, and then placed them in the storage box. *Grin*
The lights… this morning, has been an entirely different story.
First, they were wrapped around the centre of the tree… second they got tangled… then I had to dismantle the tree, getting pricked and scratched and almost falling over in a heap on top of said tree.
It’s not funny… or it wasn’t at the time, although I don’t mind if you are laughing at me right now. *Smile*
Adding insult to humiliating injury, although only to my EGO… tears started flowing out my eyes and down my cheeks, and as I tried to wipe them away, without falling over and tripping, the dust that was now obviously all over my hands and face rubbed in my eyes. *Sigh*
In exasperation I left the tangled lights still wound at the bottom of the tree… took a breath and went to wash my hands and face.
*Laugh Out Loud*
I know myself well enough to realise I wasn’t crying over the lights or the tree… and when I was calmer, I untangled the lights… even as I untangled my jangled emotions… and carefully sorted through them both. *Smile*
My services were recently cut from a project that I was really enjoying… actually… I was loving it… and I was really good at it, well so I thought… and I’ve put weeks into a plan and proposal for 2017, which is 90% prepared… and well just awesomely good, even if I say so myself. *Grin*
Yes, I’m emotional, and reactive, and highly strung… I’m also creative… care deeply, and work really hard, and I felt gutted.
Once my emotional tears were dried… and I felt calmer, I came to realise something… learning once more from a favourite quote.
Even though Nelson Mandela made these words famous, it was Marianne Williamson who wrote,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I really don’t want to pack away my Christmas Tree Lights anymore, *Grin* …and I certainly don’t want to smother my own light… and creative inspiration and talent. *Teary Smile* It’s also not my responsibility if others feel inadequate or intimidated by good work… that is fun and refreshing… and awesome. *Smile*
I know there’s a lesson for me to learn in this experience… and there will be blessings, I just have to believe there are, as my daughter lovingly reminded me.
During the quiet of the early morning as the sun rapidly warmed the day, and I listened to the birds chirping and the dogs bark down the road, I realised that nothing good that we do is ever lost… and in that moment, work already done has been repurposed as my creativity sparked and ideas flowed.
When we don’t give up, we can’t fail… although, we may just have to take a few detours and redefine… and possibly unlimit, our perception of achievement and success.
Be awesome. Be amazing. Be wonderful.
Be happy. Be creative… and talented and brilliant.
Be kind… to yourself and others. *Smile*