Introduction…. From my friend Charmaine, I received a personally designed “Woman of Worth” mug with a photo of Dave and me, with a message…
“In here are reasons why I believe you are a Woman of Worth.
Please take only one piece of paper every day to read for the next month. xxx”
[ Woman Of Worth Mug of Love ]
Woman of Worth ~ Your Creative Spirit!
I believe choosing… ‘Your Creative Spirit’ as my first slip of paper, is more than just coincidence or serendipity and much more about what I’m doing … (or not doing right now), and even what I’m struggling with the most… ‘my creativity’… probably because of the dozens of discarded, half finished, incomplete projects that have been scattered through my life during the past three years.
For too many reasons to share, however not all are excuses, although some are definitely valid.
My creativity needs energy, and the lack thereof stifles and frustrates me.
I need my ‘creative space’ to be ordered and relatively clean and calm, if not entirely quiet and distraction free. *Smile* Whether that space at the time is my bedroom… dining room where my computer and drawing table lives… the back patio and garden… or on the couch in front of the TV, while keeping my hands busy.
Too much to do… a long ‘to do list’ interspersed with chores and must do tasks, are not conducive to creativity.
Although my daughter’s creativity blossoms in messy chaos, mine is strangled and smothered in the same atmosphere.
Mostly, I need time… quiet, reflective time (even while cleaning the house), to allow a creative spark to gently ignite and catch fire, fanned by enthusiasm and thoughtful creative play, before I write my first word… or cut my first piece of paper or material… or sew or knit the first stitch.
Relaxation… reflection and quiet introspection, also give me time to choose which spark of creativity I want to ignite and gently fan into reality.
The reasons why most of these needed ‘creative’ ingredients have been lacking in my life these past few years, despite the creative projects I have completed, is not complicated, although of the utmost importance.
My daughter Jess, became ill three years ago… and I changed my life to ensure I was available 24/7 to care for her, and shelved all my projects at the time, shedding my creativity like taking off a coat.
Or so I thought. *Grin*
Even though I haven’t written and published since May 2012… I have written in my personal journal, writing only for myself for the first time in my life. *Smile*
With a long term debilitating illness… comes sadness, frustration, depression, tiredness, sometimes exhaustion, melancholy, anger, lethargy, irritation, exasperation, fatigue, disappointment, isolation, seclusion… to name just a few. Feelings and emotions that would only heighten the condition of an illness and increase the negative effects.
In December 2012, after Jess had been ill for seven months, although she was only diagnosed in November of 2012, and was on complete bed rest… and would be for another five months, I made only one New Year’s Resolution for 2013…
To inspire my daughter to laugh every day.
To find ways to spark her laughter.
To create situations to share laughter with her… every day.
For some, that may seem a natural talent… for me, it meant a very necessary and deep look at what I perceive to be funny and worth my laughter, which is very different to what most people find funny.
Laughter was something I could give my daughter… however, I am not a funny person.
My jokes …the few that I know are mis-timed with totally the wrong emphasis so right in the middle of my delivery when I realise my mistake, I get flustered, wondering why I bothered to try in the first place.
When most people, including my family are laughing at sitcoms, I’m shaking my head in disgust at the appalling way that individuals mock and rag on each other, to create something they perceive as funny.
I find a society that harshly disciplines its children for teasing, the day after laughing at the same behaviour they watched on TV the evening before… macabre.
So I certainly wasn’t going to fill our afternoons… or our evenings with that sort of entertainment.
Maybe it was the desire and need to inspire my daughter to laugh, that turned on a ‘funny creative’ button inside me that I never knew I had… and don’t ask me what I did or said, because I can’t remember… but every day for the 365 days of 2013, I was funny enough to inspire my daughter to laugh, sometimes having completely forgotten my 2013 aspiration.
We shared spontaneous joyful laughter.
We giggled like school girls, which Jess is of course.
Sometimes we laughed out loud so much, that our sides hurt. *Grin*
There were some days that Jess was only awake for three hours of a 24 hour day… yet in that time, we found something to laugh about. Funny stuff… good stuff… interesting stuff… and often we laughed at each other, with each other, in a wholesome and special way, easing the burdens that life had unexpectedly thrust upon us, lightening the load, and allowing us to find joy in the moment while looking forward to a better day.
Those days did come… sometimes hard won… sometimes unexpectedly.
In May 2014, Jess did finally stabilise… however, only because of the (awful) medication that she takes daily, and for which I am grateful, despite the horrendous side effects which are worse than the actual disease… however which have kept Jess alive, and have given her a fighting chance at a full recovery.
During the same time… Jess made me the most amazing, incredible, delightful Mother’s Day gift, which is pure creativity, which I absolutely love… and which I can’t tell you about, simply because I hope she will eventually have the energy, and time between her home studies to create a website and tell you about it herself. *Grin*
Although I now believe that inspiring Jess to laugh was a form of creativity, and that creating laughter is truly a remarkable talent and special gift to share with others… it isn’t something I realised until very recently, so not surprising a few months ago, I decided I had been in a ‘creative desert’ for too long, and needed to nurture some creativity within. *Smile*
I have been writing again… writing that I want to share, and although technically I have been challenged in creating the new websites, I determined to learn after a two year hiatus, how to make beautiful, inspiring websites… creative platforms for my words. *Smile*
It hasn’t been easy, as while the pretty creative stuff is still relatively easy for me… the technical is still a challenge, and as always I’m grateful for Dave’s help, and now for Jesses help as well.
I believe creativity can take a mundane chore and make it enjoyable and even fun.
Taking a bedroom in chaos and clutter, and organising it into a calm serene happy place… is an act of creativity… something I can do… but my daughter can’t.
Taking a white canvas and playing happily with paint, crayon and other mediums, is a spontaneous act of creativity that Jess does with such abandon and fun, it’s a pleasure to behold… something I still struggle with after years of schooling and discipline to colour inside the lines… and that leaves and trees had to be coloured green and brown, even though as I sit at my desk writing this, there are trees that I can see in so many different colours, it’s pure creative beauty.
The purple Jacaranda in bloom… the golden green fan palms… the yellow and white Frangipani… the vibrant red Bottle Brush… and Poinsettias …the gorgeous Bougainvillea’s.
I believe when we embrace our creativity we can never be bored, even when doing the worst most distasteful jobs… like trying to clean the kitchen after a week-end of baking by Dave and Jess… the aftermath of creative cooking and baking. The yummy tasting goodies, always worth the mess. *Grin* (But please do not tell them I told you that *Smile*).
Cutting flowers to arrange in a vase, writing a letter or email to a friend that uplifts and inspires, folding a piece of paper to make a flower or origami… or cutting paper and sticking little buttons, photos and short notes to scrapbook… even cooking a tasty nutritious meal I believe are all acts of creativity… that uplift, inspire and feed the mind, body, heart and soul… ourselves and others.
I believe we are each born with gifts and talents, to discover, explore, develop, use and share… to help us become who we are meant to be.
Creatively special unique Women of Worth.
Creativity for me is not just something I do… it’s living a certain way, every day… it’s learning and exploring how to express myself and my love, serving and sharing with others, making things beautiful… and also making things in a unique and different way… Creativity I believe is a gift from God, developing and sharing my talents is celebrating my gratitude and love for God.
Love, Laughter and Creative Blessings!
“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.
No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have
an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.”
~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Written, on Sunday, 2nd November 2014
Published, on Thursday, 13th November 2014